Learn to Write with Tony Holkham

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Learn to write with Tony Holkham
About better communication with friends, customers and the world at large.

ON THIS PAGE (scroll down to read about each topic) :
General (free) advice (and if you're in business)
CVs, theses, course work, job applications, proof reading, letters, etc.
Learn to write - tuition; confidence; language; practice; what to write about; getting down to it; don't give up the day job; time; humour; sex and violence.
Plain English - Is it important?
Publishing - How to find a publisher, or how to self-publish.
Know someone who can't read or write? - I can help them over this difficulty.
My writing - Read some of my work to see how it's done.
Recommended reading

GENERAL (FREE) ADVICE (and if you're in business)
I am always happy to advise by e-mail, free of charge, so long as it doesn't involve me in a great deal of work. If you can't find below any advice on a topic with which you are having trouble, then do contact me; I will help in any way I can. If you're in business, and you need help with business writing (advertising, labels, leaflets, information etc.) or business efficiency - click here.

HELP with CV, thesis, course work, job application, proof reading, letters, etc.
If you are having problems compiling any of these, or something similar, please contact me; I have a great deal of experience, lots of original ideas and can help you make the difference - click here.

LEARN TO WRITE
You may be like many people, and would like to write, but don't. You may not have the confidence; you may not feel you have the command of the language; you may not know what you want to write about; you may know nothing about publishing; you may not have the time for any of these things.

There isn't much I can do about the last, but I can help with the others. These are just my initial thoughts - I will be expanding on them as time goes by, so keep coming back for more!

TUITION
If you really want to learn to write, and can take criticism, I can offer you some tuition by email. There are no guarantees in this business, but I can make it more likely that you will get work published by improving your writing and telling you how to get potential publishers to read your work. Contact me for more details.

CONFIDENCE
Nothing will give you more confidence than trying. You don't have to write a novel; you don't even have to try to get the work published - much of my work that you will see on this site has never been published or even offered for publication. I write for my own pleasure, and sometimes send them to friends for their pleasure (I hope!). Just completing a small work will give you the confidence to continue.

LANGUAGE
One thing you must do is READ. Not to give you ideas to copy (though you can copy style, if you want to), but to give you an idea of what makes a good story, poem or essay (article). Don't just read modern literature; select from all eras and all genres and decide for yourself what is good language - you may be surprised, for example, to know that Ian Fleming's writing is amongst the best. Try out new words in your conversation and writing, and look up any words you aren't familiar with to improve your vocabulary. Read my work (fiction and/or non-fiction) on this website (particularly pieces that have been published).

Another thing you must do is WRITE. Keep a notebook with you at all times - even by the bed, and note down anything which comes into your mind - a reaction, something someone said, an idea, a title - anything which if you did not write it down you might forget in the next minute. I call them jots, and I have filled 23 jot pads over the past 30 years. It is helpful to index them and transfer them to your word processor as soon as possible (it's going to take me a long time to transfer mine - if I live long enough, that is!). Re-read your jots from time to time. But don't get sidetracked by organisation - Robert Townsend (Up the Organisation - a brilliant book) said what a wonderful illusion of progress is reorganisation. The important thing is to create.

In SPEECH, look for alternatives to such overused words as "nice" and don't forget to listen to what others say and how they say it. Dialogue is one of the hardest aspects of writing to do well even though we talk to each other every day.

PRACTICE
It has been said that no one learned to cook by watching cookery programmes. Similarly, you will not improve your driving without practising driving. The same goes for any skill. So practise writing. Any spare moment you have. This is as important as reading. Write letters - that's excellent practice (read mine to see what sort of ways you can write and what you can write about - see Non-fiction).

WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT
Any writing tutor will tell you: write about what you know. That's good advice; always follow it (though it has to be said some successful writers don't). When I had my first story accepted by the Evening News, a short thriller about a fairground, I knew nothing about fairgrounds. The Evening News were kind enough to add a few words of authenticity, and I have been grateful to them ever since. You will see this story if you click on Fiction above and read Don't Get Me Wrong. You will also see the text they published. I can reproduce it because they were also kind enough to copyright the story as mine, even after they had improved it. I learned a valuable lesson. So if you haven't been in a jungle, don't write about it (the exception here is in fantasy or science fiction, about which more another time).

GETTING DOWN TO IT
There is no substitute for doing. If you have a project in mind, think of it as building a house. You will need plans (structure your work so you have a goal to work towards). You will need materials (ideas, in this case, characters and events). You will need labour (your time and effort). All this takes self-discipline.

DON'T GIVE UP THE DAY JOB
Sorry to introduce this negative note, but don't assume that if you have sold a short story or article you can make a living at it. The market is extremely fickle, and can afford to be, being flooded with the work of people who think they can write for a living simply because they have Microsoft Word on their computers and an e-mail facility. Acquiring a box of carpentry tools does not make you a carpenter.

TIME
If you really want to do something you will find the time to do it.

HUMOUR
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." (Groucho Marx)
As in the above quote, humour is often in the unexpected. Humour is vital. Smiling is good for you; laughing even better. It's always worth considering humour when writing, even when the underlying message is serious. It can take the edge off a sensitive situation, and make readers remember what they have read. Even a serious book can contain humour, such as that in my eminently sensible business book "Label Writing & Planning" (see For sale). My consumer help book, "Don't Take It Lying Down" (see For sale) delivers many hollow laughs at the nonsense consumers are expected to swallow whole these days. With humour, messages stay in the mind for longer. Introduce humour into your writing, whether in business or private life.

SEX and VIOLENCE
There's always debate about the role of sex and violence in literature. In my view, they are part of life, so should be part of literature, but it's not necessary to go into great detail. Use this yardstick - would you be happy to leave your work on the table for a child or a parent to pick up and read? Remember that readers have imagination; let them use it - they will enjoy your work more than if you spelled out every action and event.

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PLAIN ENGLISH

"Most people confuse complexity with profundity, and opaque prose with deep meaning. But the greatest ideas have been expressed clearly" (Leo Rosten)

I agree. People speak using plain English. So why do we write:

too many words
too many long words
too-long sentences
too much jargon

as if we're trying to win a prize in a competition?

Be brief and to the point. It carries more weight and sincerity. It is easier to understand. It is less likely to be ignored. It avoids confusion. People like to read, not wade. You want to entertain, not torture.

PUBLISHING

"At every crossway on the road to the future, each progressive spirit is opposed by a thousand men appointed to guard the past". (Maeterlinck)

Be bold. If you have an idea for a book, GO FOR IT. All very well, you say, having heard (or discovered) that major publishers turn down hundreds of manuscripts every week. But that doesn't mean the rejected books are no good. Far from it. It simply means the timing, the subject or the presentation isn't right. Or it doesn't have a huge market.

There are ways round this. One important way is to get hold of a copy of the Writers' and Artists' Year Book (from a bookshop or library) and read the advice in there.

PUBLISHING - frequently asked questions

How do I know if my idea is worth writing up into a book
(or whether my book is worth publishing)?
If you have written a book, ask an agent (see below), a publisher or me for an opinion. You will probably have to pay for it, but you will get a constructive criticism. You can then feel more confident in approaching other publishers once you have worked on it some more.

Will I need an agent?
If you can get an agent, great, but your work has to be special, and the majority of agents will only take on writers who have already had a book published; how ironic is that? It's usually a lot less grief to approach publishers direct, which you can do nowadays by e-mail as well as by letter. Always ask first if they will read your work before sending it.

What if my book is rejected?
Remember that it's the book that has been rejected, not you. Try again. Rewrite the book, if necessary. The most important thing is to submit a lively, interesting and succinct synopsis which will make a publisher at least want to read your book and perhaps offer some constructive criticism. Don't be put off by rejections - if your book is good, eventually it will be published (because publishers will see money in it for them). Think positive!

How much will I get paid, and when?
Royalties on a publication are agreed by negotiation, and it will depend on how much money the publisher thinks they will make on your book. Around 10% of net sale proceeds is usual. Frequency of payment varies from quarterly to annually, with most publishers. Sometimes there's a once-only royalty. Remember you must have a contract, and if you are in any doubt about the contents of a contract, consult a solicitor.

Should I pay to have my book published?
That depends on how badly you want it published, how quickly, and how good it is. There are circumstances in which you might pay for the book to be published, such as one for a limited private circulation (a family history, for example). But if the book is good enough, you should not pay for it. A publisher will. If you do decide to pay for it yourself, for whatever reason, then keep control of it. You'd be surprised how many people get stung by the aptly-named 'vanity' publishing. There may be a few reputable ones around (I don't know any), but there are many others who will publish your book regardless of its quality, charge you for it, then not bother to market or even print it. In the 1960s I (in common with many other writers) got stung for several hundred pounds (a lot of money then). The company took our money and then went bust. The director's wife turned up to the creditors' meeting in a fur coat and a new Jaguar. Needless to say we writers got nothing. You don't have to experience this - take my word for it. You don't get ought for nought, as they say in Yorkshire.

IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, I'LL BE HAPPY TO TRY TO ANSWER THEM. CONTACT ME.
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KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN'T READ OR WRITE?
I can help. Many people who have difficulty reading and writing also have difficulty admitting it. If you know someone who needs help, get them to get in touch with me in complete confidence. Contact me

MY WRITING

If you want to read some of my work, then click on fiction, non-fiction or verse. I don't know whether it's good or not, but it pleases me and some of it has been published.